I used to smile a lot. I used to smile a lot more than I do now. As a young girl, you could count on me to have a smile in any situation: uncomfortable, happy, even crying. By default. It was something I remember doing a lot.

Looking back, I used to be so silly… and spontaneous… and surprisingly confident (not fully lol I still wore braces and headgear so you can’t be that confident haha). Analyzing myself, I feel like I have lost some of that enthusiasm. The more I grow up, the more I overthink my interactions. The more I feel the need to explain myself. The more cautious I become.

Why does smiling become harder to do as an adult?? Maybe that’s why we drink so much haha

This past week my USAC group had Trivia Night. It was meant to be an opportunity to meet some Italian students from our school. You know, bridge the gap. I initially wasn’t even going to go. And why you might ask? I had a date with Netflix. And you see, that’s the problem. I used to get excited about things. And as an adult, activities just seem like too much effort (honk if you feel me) but that is no way to live!!! It’s so easy to dismiss things; easy to pretend like we are fine without any human connection but the truth is, we need it to thrive. So I decided to be the best version of myself and attend. I figured that Office episode that I have watched literally ten times could wait. 

This night I decided I would take the initiative to talk to the people I have been wanting to reach out to, instead of waiting for them to come talk to me. A younger me would have done this without thinking. I don’t know why as an adult I am suddenly so afraid. Maybe because it feels like you have more to prove… rejection hurts more and it feels like you have to try harder to be liked.

So I took my glass of liquid courage (aka bubbling Proseco wine), got out of my chair, and introduced myself. So simple! And I am so glad I did. I met some wonderful Italian girls: shoutout to Lucia, Monica, Micole, and Francesca. With enthusiasm, we began to get to know each other, our barriers in language having no effect. 

In my typical fashion, I opened up and confessed how I am always so intimidated walking past the Italian students during school. How they look so cool with their outfits and cigarettes; like something out of a movie. And to my surprise, they said they felt the same way! “That’s the way we see you guys!” the girls said. We both shared our desire to get to know each other, yet were too scared to do so. 

Here is the point.

Everyone is just as scared as you are. I thought I was the only one, but that’s a lie. Everyone feels lonely. Everyone feels self-conscious. Everyone feels intimidated. 

No matter if you are Italian or American, we are all scared of rejection. Scared of the unknown. The wonderful thing I have found, however, is our fear is never greater than our desire for connection. All it takes is for one person to have the courage to reach out. 

I would have never known that the Italians felt the same way I did had I not opened myself to the possibility of interaction. I have found that as an adult, I have closed myself off to many opportunities. Overcomplicated things that could have been simple. And in a way, I have watered down my personality to be more digestible. Something a younger Vene wouldn’t have done. This takes away the pleasure of my amazing life, and also dilutes everything I have to offer. Therefore, I have decided to readopt the enthusiasm of my younger self because great things can come from it, such as this night with my new friends.

Once in Greece, I was told by a woman in my hostel (her name was Anastasia), “A friendly person is welcome anywhere.” It’s true. It doesn’t matter the language, the culture, the differences… as long as the intention is authentic, the rest doesn’t matter. 

The key is to truly just be kind and you will receive it back.

So smile my friends. Smile a lot. Smile for no reason (luckily its free haha). And have courage. Because I can guarantee someone somewhere, will be grateful for it.